Umrao Jaan - the film review - educational point of view.

Story of a Jamaadaar’s (Sweeper’s) daughter –

• on how she is kidnapped by her uncle and sold away in a Courtesan’s house –

• on how she falls in love with a Sultan but is betrayed by him due to some misunderstanding (actually he was looking for a chaste, untouched, pure & virgin Prostitute but on finding Umrao to be otherwise,
  he dumps her !!)–

• on how she is turned away by her family because she had become a Prostitute –

thus the movie teaches – Once a Prostitute – always a Prostitute – there is no way out !

I was watching this movie in some TV channel with several irritating breaks but what amazed me more was the way they were promoting this movie – saying ‘Aap sab ka mann mohne` aa rahi hai – Umrao Jaan’! Lo
behold! This is such a sad sad sad
story of a girl who had to become a ‘sex maid’/ courtesan at as early an age as
6 or 7 and here the promo are saying that ‘Here comes the sad Courtesan to win
your hearts!’ – amazing !! I was so sad for her – in act my heart cried for her
for the kind of deplorable life she had to lead on earth - whereas the TV advertising guys thought it
to be some feat for a woman to draw to attention of several frustrated ‘whore
mongers’ towards herself just by being bejeweled and occasionally showing her
twin assets or any other part of her skin to the already ‘turned on’ mongrels
!!Yuk!! what a pukish life!!

Points to be noted Melords :

1. The fact that a Sweeper’s daughter turned out to be so pretty ..is rather alarming!! Imagine if the Sweeper’s daughter was so pretty then how must the elite class
   girls looking at that point of time !!Ravishing beauties I must say..thank
   God I was not born during that time period – or else I would have just
   been a scare crow !!…or maybe her Mother as a desperate Housewife…? Who
   knows – she might have copulated with some good looking stud and thus
   Umrao turned out to be so pretty…..neways – that is not what the movie all
   about – so lets proceed.
2. Umrao is around 7 when her Uncle kidnaps her and sells her to a Courtesan. He takes her far away from her home town. Thus it is quite clear that such a
   man – that he was – he must have made her render ‘sexual services’ on the
   way to the Courtesan’s house. So we can understand that Umrao started her
   ‘sex’ life pretty early. Later, much later of course , it is shown that
   the same Uncle suffers from leprosy and is lying on the street with no one
   to look after – and guess what ? a rich Umrao gives him her gold bangles –
   kind of forgiving him for his past misdeeds !!Well – this gesture of hers
   was pretty amazing !Taking her life from the worldly-wise point of view –
   well maybe she was thanking him for giving her a groovy life. Think of it
   folks – a Sweeper’s daughter would have got married to maybe some Sweeper
   and would have somehow lived hand to mouth, wearing torn sarees – she
   would have had to spend the rest of her life as a subservient female – a
   free maid – giving birth to mongrels one after the other and looking after
   the needs of her in – laws and some ugly husband !…and of course there was
   no guarantee that the husband would be nice and caring or maybe a brothel
   visitor !! Whereas as a Courtesan, she got the time of her life by getting
   a chance to have sex with the Sultan – a rich and handsome thug – who,
   would not have even puked at her , had she been introduced to him as the
   Sweeper’s daughter !! So you see folks – everything is not as ugly as it
   appears !!
3. Another character enters in the scene – he is a dacoit but disguises himself as a rich Sultan and guess what and where will dacoits go!? No points for that
   – obviously to the Courtesan’s house – after looting the commoners and
   other rich merchants, the money and jewelry go to such ‘sex maids’ only –
   for they need a lot of money to take care of their skins and eat healthy
   food in order to be active and ever ready to entertain the clients –
   unlike the dumb house wife – married to some ‘brothel visitor’ who will
   live hand to mouth to fill the empty stomachs of the mongrels born to her
   through senior mongrel !!Gosh! how foolish have women been all these eras
   – how very foolish !
4. The dacoit disguised as Sultan happens to see/hear of Umrao’s mole in upper thigh (sorry folks – can’t tell exactly – you see during breaks I surf
   different TV channels so often miss certain scenes ) and tells it to the
   Sultan. The Sultan thinks that Umrao has been sleeping with the Dacoit so
   he asks her to get lost ! Amazing !! does he not know that such females
   are first ‘humped’ by the Pimps and other body guards – only then can they
   market them well in the ‘whore market’ – how else can you talk of the USP
   without using the product !?In this movie though it is shown that the pimp
   rapes Umrao after she breaks up with the Sultan – in real life – it’s the
   other way round (now some dumb reader should not ask me how I know such
   details – I have seen many hindi movies (Baghi, Chandni Bar) based on the
   lives of prostitutes and courtesans and it is very clear to understand how
   unsafe they are in the hands of males who are not related to them…as if
   you don’t know yourself!)
5. Anyway – there is another aspect to it as well – Sultan’s father comes to know that his son wants to marry a Courtesan and so he tells him to get lost
   for he’ll never allow a courtesan to be his daughter – in – law! The young
   and hot blooded Sultan leaves his house and stays with Umrao for a couple
   of days in the Courtesan’s house and then in his friend’s house – once he
   is insulted & driven away by the Head Courtesan (Shabana Azmi). His
   friend’s wife asks her husband (but obviously) – to drive away the
   drunkard brothel visitor who was in love with a Courtesan as he would set
   a bad example for her children. The Sultan hears all this and realizes
   that life is not easy after all – thus goes back to his house and agrees
   to marry the girl of his father’s choice. Thus he uses this utterly lame
   and hilarious excuse of expecting a pure , virgin and chaste Courtesan and
   since Umrao fails to keep up to his expectations – so he dismisses her !Basically
   he came to face reality and was intelligent enough to understand the
   necessity of money and parental support in order to lead a comfortable
   social life. After marriage when a full grown woman will sleep beside him
   – he’ll forget all about Umrao and happily ‘hump’ her (eg. Virasat – how
   Anil Kappr forgets his modern lover and happily – with sound effects –
   does the needful to ‘ganwaar(village bred rustic)’ Tabu). Still later –
   when 50 plus , he’ll start going to brothels and spend money like water –
   telling around people that he is doing it in the memory of his ex-flame
   Umrao …and all people will marvel at his generosity ..while watching 16
   plus girls dance semi nude in front of them – alcohol in one hand….and …!!

Well folks, this is what the Story of Umrao is all about. Later she goes and settles down in her home town as the British Officers were not allowing such things happen so openly as they believed that rebels are
being created from such hubs !!

All the aged men who assemble around Umrao to listen to her song and look at her well maintained body – know of the fact that she was the Jamadaar’s (sweeper’s) daughter – but that did not stop them from coming and
watching her and using her……showing that such men are very broad minded after
all – they do not mind using their tool for entering into any crevice…it just
has to be a crevice – that’s all !!